Do you dress to please yourself? “Well of course I do!” you exclaim. “Doesn’t everybody?”
But think about it. Stop and really ponder the question, and look a bit deeper, inside yourself, past the initial “of course!” that may spill from your lips.
As women in
Consider the last time you were clothes shopping. It doesn’t matter what you were purchasing. As you were flipping through the options and choices, what thoughts were going through your head?
I’m going to guess that for many, there were some conflicting voices in your head, telling you that:
- The item under consideration was too casual / formal / bright / sheer / you-name-it, according to someone other than you.
- Your spouse / family member / friend / co-worker / committee member / you-name-it, may not approve of your choice
- If you buy that item, you won’t look young enough / pretty enough / slim enough in the eyes of others.
- Someone your age wouldn’t wear that item.
I know I’ve done it. I’m in the dressing room (which, by the way, was designed by someone who went to great lengths to find the harshest, most unattractive lighting ever created in the entire world) trying on my potential purchase, and in my head I’m going through the litany of negatives about how I look in it, should I wear it, is it the right size, am I too old for the style…blah blah blah.
I think it happens automatically. My mind just goes to the critical self talk. What’s up with that?
I’m in my 60’s and should be well past that kind of negative self talk. And I am, for the most part. But I have to tell myself to stop…and I do. Thank goodness.
How to Dress to Please Yourself
Ultimately, you know what you like when it comes to style. We all have our own unique style, and it’s about more than what you wear.
- Our style IS an expression of who we are, and if we let others influence that, we’re not being true to ourselves.
- Our style IS NOT determined by what happens to be in fashion at present. If it is a look or a color that you absolutely love and you feel beautiful wearing it, then awesome for you! But just because someone says it’s a thing…it doesn’t have to be a thing for you.
When I decided to become a midlife blogger, the whole ‘fashion’ thing gave me pause. I think it’s because when I think of the term blogger, I automatically zoom to someone who writes about beauty, fashion, hairstyles and the like. And I’ll be honest, I enjoy looking good, and I expect it from myself.
But I’m not a fashionista, you won’t see oodles of photos of me on my blog, modeling the latest fashion, or telling you how to put an outfit together in every post.
I see some other very successful bloggers who do this, and am thankful that they’re out there for the women who are searching for that direction. If you’re someone who loves to wear the latest fashions, that’s awesome. That is who you are and you’re honestly dressing to please yourself. Cool.
I know that I’m not that type of blogger. I’ll throw out my two cents about style and putting a look together because I really enjoy it, but that’s not the focus of this site.
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We all have unique styles and preferences as well as unique shapes and sizes. We’re tall, short, thin, plump, petite, plus size…and everything in between. So when it comes to being comfortable with our style and clothing choices, there is no standard, no correct answer to pleasing ourselves with our wardrobe. It is our decision.
Try this exercise. I’ll go first.
Create a quick list of what you enjoy wearing. Don’t think about it, just make the list. Here’s mine:
blue jeans (form fitting, not too baggy), leggings, t-shirts, tunic tops, round or jewel necklines, anything black, very casual shoes with low heels or wedge, capri’s, 3/4 sleeves, lightweight sweaters, comfy clothes (yoga capris and, you guessed it…tank tops) for lounging or working out, with business casual slacks, long sleeves or a dress on occasion
This is me, it’s what I am comfortable in and what I wear. Because…I dress to please myself.
Many women my age wouldn’t dream of wearing a
Yes, I have some of that, but you know what? At this point in my life, I‘d rather wear the
If you were honest when compiling your list, this is your view of yourself and what you pleases you. Whenever possible, choose to wear what you enjoy, what pleases you.
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Self Confidence Tips: Three Keys to Dressing to Please Yourself
- Remember that you are in control of what you do and how you look. It really is, ultimately, up to you to decide how you want to dress. I understand that pleasing a spouse, partner, significant other or friend might be a consideration.
When my husband was with me, I loved him so much that I always considered his opinions or preferences when I chose my clothes and outfits. But, the bottom line was that I ultimately needed to please myself, too, as well as him. And he wanted it that way.
2. Whether you are going casual and hangin’ around the house, heading out to run errands or dolling it up for an evening out, make sure that you are comfortable from head to toe. And that means more than just making sure your clothes fit comfortably.
3. If you’re doubting the choices, the look, the vibe, even the hair…STOP and do something about it. Change whatever it is that is not pleasing to you, because if you don’t it will affect everything you do for the duration of the activity.
Take a look in the mirror and make sure you are satisfied and comfortable with what you see. No…your body shape is probably not ‘perfect’, your hair might need a trim, the reflection may remind you that it’s time to start working out again…but this is YOU. Wear the clothes that reflect your style, make you happy and feeling good. Remember these self confidence tips. Dress to please yourself! You’ll not regret it.
Grab your FREE printable, How to Dress to Please Yourself, and keep these inspiring tips handy! You’ll find it in the Resource Library: