The Midlife Toolbox from Inspire My Style
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Now That You’re Older Are You Happy to Just Be Yourself?

(Last Updated On: September 28, 2019)

The Midlife ToolBox – Top Tools for Healthy Living

Welcome to The Midlife ToolBox, a very special series of guest posts written by Midlife Bloggers from all over the world. We are unique women, and even though we are all getting older, our perspective, challenges, and ways we see life are definitely unique! I hope you enjoy these wise words and gain some insight from them. I know I will.

Our first guest blogger is Rebecca Forstadt Olkowski, founder of Baby Boomster. She is a travel/lifestyle blogger for active and fabulous women over 50 (see full bio at bottom of post), and is going to talk with us about our attitudes toward aging, being ourselves, and how we can always find opportunities to express ourselves, learn and grow as we get older.

Let’s see what Rebecca has to say:

Now That You’re Older
Are You Happy to Just Be Yourself?

Our attitudes toward aging - are we happy to just be ourselves?

In a world where marketers are trying to tell you what to wear, how to be successful, and what foods will give you leaky gut, are you having difficulty dealing with who you are at the present time? The idea to “be yourself” is often complicated. Are you happy in your own skin? Chances are, you’re not.

Playing the comparison game

We’re always told “Don’t compare yourself with others” but who practices this? You may see someone your age dressed to the nines and wish you could emulate them. Or, maybe you know someone who is wildly successful but you’re struggling like heck to make the rent. Then there are all those Facebook posts from that super happy couple who’ve been married forever and never seem to get mad at each other.

Do you find that it eats at you and drives you nuts, or frankly, you don’t give a damn?  Almost no one is completely confident in themselves even though they say they are.

I was sitting next to a woman at a party and she brought up the topic of “just being yourself.” “Why worry about what people think of you? At this point in your life do whatever you want. If you hate wearing a bra, take it off and let your boobies hang free.”

In other words, just be yourself and screw it!

  • Wear polka dots with stripes and no underwear
  • Dye your hair in rainbow colors
  • Embrace your wrinkles and belly fat
  • Forget about those darn Jones’s
  • Get on your soapbox and tell everyone what you think

Obviously, some of these things may not work out so well in real life, but I wanted to throw them out there.

The past is over – move forward

Do you dream about having the same body as your 20-year old self?  We all wish, right? For some of us, that would take a ton of work. Still, it’s always a good idea to try to stay healthy. To be yourself doesn’t mean you should let it all go and become grossly overweight or throw caution to the wind and go Free Solo up El Capitan unless you don’t want to live very long.

Do you wish you would have made better career decisions when you were younger? I do sometimes. Why didn’t someone talk me out of being an actress? I should have learned a viable skill like teaching and gotten a degree when I was in college. It didn’t happen that way, and that’s the way the cookie crumbled. Besides, I had a lot of fun doing plays, work in the industry, and have lots of fans.

I never got rich and it’s hard not to say to myself, “If I had snagged the part of Lisa Simpson or Angelica in Rugrats, I’d be a millionaire! (I tried out for both) The truth is, Yeardley, who plays Lisa, is a millionaire but Cheryl, who played Angelica, is still doing the actor hustle.

The decisions you made in the past are what created who you are now.  But what you consider to be a “failure” doesn’t mean you have to skulk away into the background. It’s never too late to turn things around or rediscover who you really are.

Read more posts from the Midlife Tool Box Series

As Mr. Rogers always said, “You’re special”

Mr. Rogers turned out to be a smart guy. Every one of us has something that makes us unique and different from everyone else. Embrace whatever that is no matter how weird it is.

Have you been dressing to blend in but have always dreamed about exploring your inner hippie? Who says you can’t go for it? Add a few bangles, vivid colors, or buy a crazy pair of shoes.

Some people are at their best when they’re natural and grounded to the Earth. Happiness for you may be walking through a forest, camping in the wild, or hanging out at the beach and surfing.

Is being the grandma of all grandmas more your thing? A perfect day might be hanging out with your grandchildren and spending time with family.

Don’t worry if you’re still in the dark

After spending decades on the planet maybe you still haven’t figured out what it means to be yourself. That’s okay. Some of us take longer to figure it out. Don’t stress over it. Hopefully, it will come to you someday.

Stay curious, loosen up a bit, and keep growing

When you give up or let other people suck out all your energy, you run the risk of becoming stagnant and dull. You lose your sense of identity and in a way, you begin to die.  Maybe not physically, but mentally.

Surround yourself with people who help you thrive and avoid those who do not allow you to be the person you really are.  I guarantee you’ll be happier. At this point in our lives, being smothered, controlled, or put down are the last things we need.

What does “being yourself” mean to you? Please leave a comment below.

Thanks so much, Rebecca, for sharing your attitudes toward aging with us!

Rebecca Forstadt Olkowski, Founder, BabyBoomster

Rebecca is a purveyor of all things fun and a diehard foodie. She loves to travel and writes from anywhere on the planet she happens to land, even if it’s in her own backyard. She is the founder of Baby Boomster, a travel/lifestyle blog for active and fabulous women over 50.

Other topics include food, culture, entertainment, wellness, longevity, and issues that concern Baby Boomer women. She has also been a professional voice-actor in Los Angeles for over 35 years.

Be sure to visit Rebecca on her blog as well as social media:

Are you interested in submitting a guest post for this series? Contact me at candi@inspiremystyle.com and include your blog or website URL. We’ll have a chat! Thanks.

Candi Randolph Midlife Blogger


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Our attitudes toward aging impact how we continue to learn and grow as we get older

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23 COMMENTS

  • Jan Wild

    I am definitely finding it easier to be myself compared to when I was younger. Perfect no, but pretty comfortable in my own skin definitely. But I don’t like to let my boobies hang out except in the comfort and privacy of my own home 😉

    • Candi Randolph
      AUTHOR

      I’m with you when it comes to the girls, Jan! And I am definitely much more comfortable with who I am today than I was in my younger years.

  • Debbie Harris

    Fabulous to read this Candi and Rebecca! We need to be ourselves. I for one, like playing on playground equipment despite being 58, I’m still curious and use my imagination. I like to be positive and enthusiastic – I’m definitely unique!! Thanks so much and I’ve shared for #mlstl

    • Candi Randolph
      AUTHOR

      Sounds like a lot of fun, Debbie, and it’s great to just be yourself and do what you love! Thanks so much for sharing.

  • Hi Rebecca – lovely to see another Midlife blogging connection with you guest posting on Candi’s blog. And in answer to your question…. I’m getting there. I think I’m a lot happier and more confident in my 50’s than I was in any of the previous decades. I don’t have my youthful face and body anymore, but the competition and judgement is less ferocious these days – I’m genuinely content and that is the key for me.
    Thanks for linking up with us at MLSTL and I’ve shared on my SM 🙂

    • Candi Randolph
      AUTHOR

      Hi Leanne, thanks as always for your support and for sharing this post!

  • Bree

    As I was reading this great article I realized how things have changed from my 30 year old to now over 60. I feel more at home in my body. Most days I don’t care about the wrinkles or the hair that has wisps of grey. Yes loved it thank you

    • Candi Randolph
      AUTHOR

      Hi Bree, I saw a photo of me when I was about 30 years old, and yes, I also noticed the changes, but in a good way for the most part. I like who I am today, and it sounds like you do, too!

  • Bree

    sorry visiting from MLSTL

  • Linda Carlson

    Over 60 now and yes.. its a lot different.. Hair is gray and that’s ok.. Wrinkles are there along with the aches and pains.. We slow down too. I have to say I have handled this all far better than my husband has.. LOL

    • Candi Randolph
      AUTHOR

      Hi Linda, yes, I am slower than I once was, and notice my body telling me so! But as long as I listen to it and respect the messages I can still do just about anything I want to do. Thanks so much for stopping by!

  • Patricia Doyle

    I’m finding it easier to stop the Compare & Despair and Living Up to Expectations these days. They are not gone, but I’m getting better at stopping both from making me feel not enough. Surrounding myself with supportive mid-life women – both on-line and IRL- has helped. Visiting from #MLSTL

    • Candi Randolph
      AUTHOR

      Hi Patricia, it can be hard to change old thought patterns, and finding the right people to be around can help move past them. Very wise choice! Thanks for stopping by!

  • Nancy Andres

    Thanks Rebecca and Candi for sharing this interesting post about happy to just be yourself. Visiting from #MLSTL and pinned it. Love bright colors so Rebecca I’m with you babe. Now that I’m older, I’m coming more and more home to myself.

    • Candi Randolph
      AUTHOR

      Hi Nancy, thanks so much for sharing this post, and yes…you are definitely the woman who loves color!

  • Hi Candi, a great start to your new series and the benefits of age and experience is that we can be ourselves and accept who we are. Of course, that journey doesn’t come easily and I’m not quite there but I’ve enjoyed reading Rebecca’s thoughts. There is such a sense of freedom in not having to prove yourself to others or try to be someone you aren’t. Thanks for sharing at #MLSTL and I look forward to reading more of your Midlife Tool Box series.

    • Candi Randolph
      AUTHOR

      Thanks Sue, and I agree that process doesn’t come quickly or easily for most of us. I am so much more confident of who I am now than I was even 10 years ago. Thank you so much for sharing! xo

  • Christie Hawkes

    I have to agree with most of the ladies who have commented so far–I am much more comfortable in my skin than I was when I was younger. I still sometimes compare or wish I was some other way, but not nearly so frequently, and when I realize I’m doing it, I can let it go more easily. I also appreciated the advice to stay curious and loosen up.

    Thanks, Candi, for the introduction to Rebecca. I’ll be stopping by her blog next.

    • Candi Randolph
      AUTHOR

      Hi Christie, I agree that as I’ve gotten older I’m less likely to compare myself to others. Hopefully, it’s a sign of maturity, or maybe it just takes too much effort! Thanks for stopping by and for checking out Rebecca’s blog.

  • Such great advice. Love the idea of no panties!! Think I will try that on my next date night with PC. He will just die.

    I am certainly, thankfully, more confident than I have ever been in my 61 years. Oh, the years I wasted trying to dress for a husband (now EX) that didn’t approve of anything, and thinking I was chubby when I was very slender.

    I have cellulite, lipomas, gray hairs, wrinkles and age spots. But I have learned to embrace them because overall, I am healthy and happy!

    • Candi Randolph
      AUTHOR

      Hi Leslie, good for you, embracing all of the things that make you unique and special. Perfect? No. Beautiful? Yes!

  • Jo

    Yes, I find it’s much easier these days to just be myself. The competition and peer pressure of youth and all that it entailed is thankfully over. Goodness me, sometimes these days if I haven’t shaved my legs I really don’t care anymore! My daughter looks on horrified! #MLSTL and Pinned

    • Candi Randolph
      AUTHOR

      Hi Jo, neither do I! Midlife brings a sense of freedom that I am really enjoying. Thanks for stopping by and sharing. 🙂

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