Welcome to The Midlife ToolBox, a very special series of guest posts written by Midlife Bloggers from all over the world. We are unique women, and even though we are all getting older, our perspective, challenges, and ways we see life are definitely unique! I hope you enjoy these wise words and gain some insight from them. I know I will.
Today’s guest is Jeanell Lancaster from Midlife Radiance.
Jeanell is a young midlifer. She shares how she questioned her life at the age of 38, and what she did to create a healthy lifestyle after 40.
Let’s hear from Jeanell:
How to Create a Healthy Lifestyle After 40
I was 38 years old when I asked myself, “Is this all there is to life?” I was pessimistic about the next year, month, week, and day of my life. That’s when I realized that I was not ok. I was not aging well. I was surviving and not thriving. It was time to make some changes that would put me on a better path.
Manage Stress
It’s hard to be satisfied with life when you are always stressed out. I had to learn how to manage my negative emotions in a positive way. Drinking a glass of wine was simply putting a band-aid on the problem.
I needed new tools to cope with the stressors in life. Here’s what I did in addition to changing my diet and becoming more active…
Practice Gratitude
I started practicing gratitude and began noticing all of the good things in my life. As a result, I started experiencing more positive emotions.
“If you concentrate on finding whatever is good in every situation, you will discover that your life will suddenly be filled with gratitude, a feeling that nurtures the soul.”
Harold S. Kushner
I also learned to be thankful during the tough times. I stopped asking, “Why me?” And started asking, “What is this here to teach me?” What lessons have I not yet learned?
Practice Mindfulness
My mind used to be cluttered and noisy. I was always preoccupied with the past and worried about the future. I was focused on every moment but the present one. I missed out on all of the wonderful things that were happening around me.
I learned how to live in the present moment by practicing mindfulness. Mindfulness is simply being fully aware of what is happening around you. I learned to bring my attention into the present moment by focusing on my breath.
“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.”
Thich Nhat Hanh
Read more posts from the Midlife Tool Box Series
Learn New Skills
When was the last time you did something for the first time?
Learning a new skill makes life interesting, keeps your mind sharp, and expands your social circle. Midlife should be an exciting and adventurous time.
Next month, I will be taking bike riding lessons. It’s something that I’ve always wanted to learn. Get out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself to learn a new skill.
“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.” Henry Ford
Self-Connection
There was a time when I didn’t enjoy my own company. I had perfected the art of being a social chameleon, so I was disconnected from my true self. I was an expert at morphing into who I needed to be at the moment.
After my coming-to-Jesus moment, I finally understood that I was always enough. I am enough. And I will always be enough.
At 40, I gave myself permission to be myself.
Before I developed self-awareness, I would ask myself the following questions whenever I felt disconnected from my true self.
1. Why am I feeling this way?
2. Is there any truth to what I’m feeling?
3. What do I need at this moment to stay true to who I am?
Then I took action!
“You are the author of your own life story. You have the leading role and get to determine how you interact with your supporting cast and other characters. Without realizing it, you may have allowed the events in your life to write your story for you rather than taking deliberate action to write it in your own voice. What will it take to love your life story to create the happy endings you desire?”
Susan C. Young
Jeanell Lancaster, Founder Midlife Radiance
Jeanell is a 40’ish single mom who strives to inspire middle-aged women to create a life they love.
She provides real and practical advice, life lessons and motivation to her readers, helping them create a healthy lifestyle after 40.
Connect with Jeanell:
- Blog – https://midliferadiance.com/
- Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/midliferadiance
- Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/midliferadiance/
- Twitter – https://twitter.com/MidlifeRadiance
- Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.com/midliferadiance/
Are you interested in submitting a guest post for this series? Contact me at candi@inspiremystyle.com and include your blog or website URL. We’ll have a chat! Thanks.
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Hi Jeanell, thanks for an inspiring post. I totally agree that we are the authors of our own life story, although it might take twists and turns that are beyond our control. Taking ownership of all that we do is imperative, and being accountable. I think your questions that ask, Why am I feeling this way?. Is there any truth to what I’m feeling? And What do I need at this moment to stay true to who I am? are really spot on. They keep us mindful and accountable, and we can move on rather than stagnate. #MLSTL and Shared on SM
Hi Jo, I agree that Jeanell’s questions can help us stay focused and on track in our lives, and can potentially be game-changers. Thank you for sharing!
Yes, those questions were a game changer for me. They definitely helped me stay in the present moment as opposed to creating a full story in my head.
Well Jeanell you were 10 years or more ahead of me when you asked yourself those questions, so you got an early start on the Midlife reinvention and reclaiming your authentic self. I’m glad you discovered your way through and can share that with others – we need to cheer each other on don’t we?
Thanks for linking up with us at MLSTL and I’ve shared on my SM 🙂
Hi Leanne, yes, we do! I wish I’d had the foresight and self-awareness to ask myself the questions Jeanell did in my late 30’s. But, I’m grateful for where I am today and all that I’ve learned. Thanks so much for sharing!
Yes, we definitely need to encourage and inspire each other. While there is a lot of negatives about social media, I find that women are supporting each other like never before. No one has to suffer alone anymore. Our truth can be a light for others. Thanks for sharing!
Congratulations, Jeanell, for making these positive changes in your life, and inspiring other women to do the same through this very positive post. I especially like the idea of practicing gratitude. That has really changed my outlook and how I feel about things as well. As far as learning a new skill, sculpting is a new art form that I’m working on. Good luck learning to ride a bike. I’ve always loved bike riding. Thanks for sharing.
Practicing gratitude was a total mindset shift for me. I’m always surprised that the smallest changes tend to have the biggest impact. I’m glad that you are learning how to sculpt. I took a still life drawing class a couple years ago. It was very challenging but fun! Enjoy!
Hi Christina, I think it’s so cool that you’re learning to sculpt! It really is true that we’re never too old to learn something new. It keeps us fresh and sharp. Thank you so much for stopping in.
These are such great tips! Thanks for sharing!
Hi Amy, so glad you stopped by!
Thank you Candi for the introduction to Jeanell. I can see that we are on much the same wavelength when it comes to healthy aging.
Jeanell, it’s nice to “meet” you. You’ve hit on some great tool for aging well. I have also been focusing on mindfulness and gratitude for the last couple of years. It’s made an amazing difference in the quality of my life. I’m going to pop over to your blog now.
#MLSTL
Hi Christie, it’s great that Jeanell found these ‘tools’ at such a young age and I know they will serve her well. Thanks for supporting her blog with a visit!
Candi and Jeanell,
Thank you for this wisdom. I always glean something from your posts. Why is it that so many of us don’t give ourselves permission until midlife and beyond to be ourselves, or moreover, like ourselves? At 61, I am finally somewhat comfortable in my skin and kinda of like myself! Why did it take 6 decades to get here?
Wish you girls would join me for my fall bucket list series. Your post/list can be as detailed and extravagant or generalized and simple as you like. Bucket lists are a great way to push yourself to learn something new, learn to be comfortable in your own company/skin. To try a new hobby or activity. We will share our lists on 09.21 with updates on 10.21 and 11.21. Please email me if you are interested in joining me so I can send you the link up code!
You are so right, Leslie, it takes most of us many years to figure ourselves out and decide we’re okay! And, thanks for the invitation, too! If I think it will work for me I’ll definitely be in touch.
🙂