When I was in my 20’s I could never envision myself as an ‘older person’. My parents were old, of course, but the future was so far away and undefined. Shoot…it was enough to get through life as a young person without contemplating the distant future.
But now, here I am at 66, a widow after 20 years of marriage to my best friend and soul mate, living in the Midwest after relocating a couple of years ago, and running an online business as a midlife blogger. How did I get here so quickly?
My first marriage ended after 11 years, but I was blessed with two beautiful children who remain a large part of my life. I met my soul mate, Randy, at the age of 40, and we had 20 years of a strong relationship and wonderful marriage until the Lord called him home 5 1/2 years ago. Why didn’t we have more time together?
I didn’t plan on being a single over 60, I thought my husband and I would grow old together. We used to dream about sitting on our deck in our 80’s holding hands and watching the sunset. It was a wonderful dream.
So, the transition has been minute-to-minute, day-by-day, acclimating myself to living alone again. On the one hand, I’m okay with living alone…don’t need to be surrounded by people…am not into an active social life…I don’t mind my own company.
On the other hand, it has been a huge change to think about doing things as a single woman again, considering the possibility of another man’s company, dating, establishing a new relationship, attending church alone, going to social events without my man by my side, having a meal at a restaurant by myself, making significant life and financial decisions without my mate.
Being a single woman over sixty, widow or otherwise, is a whole different ball game in the game of life.
So as you can see, I’m not going to go into great detail about dating, or how to snag a man in your 60s, or how to find the right partner and get married again, or similar types of dating tips.
There are many dating sites that offer advice and tips to help single women meet single men, search for a new friend or relationship, locate singles groups in their area, join an online dating site, and basically find love in your 60s.
These are legitimate desires, my friend, and if your goal is to meet other singles and move on with a man in your life, go for it!
Rather, I’m focusing on the idea of living a fulfilling life as a single person. If a relationship blooms, awesome! And if I continue to live as a single person, I have the confidence in myself to know that I’m going to be okay. More than okay, really. I’m going to be great!
8 Thoughts About Life as Single Women Over 60
1 | Where does your trust lie?
Most importantly, my faith and trust in the Lord has seen me through the last 5 years since I lost my husband. Being suddenly single again is not something that you plan for, so a daily walk with the Lord has kept me moving forward, one step at a time. One day at a time.
I find that morning devotions are an essential part of my morning routine. For you it might be meditation or yoga. Wherever you find your centering and peace, make it a regular and ongoing part of your day.
2 | Would a church affiliation be a source of inspiration for you?
My local church has been a source of encouragement for me as well. There are many opportunities to become involved with groups of like minded people as well as social opportunities. So far I have not taken that step of joining a group, have not felt it was the right time for me, but I know they are there for me when the time comes.
Because I don’t mind my own company, I have to make sure that I have some social interaction. Attending church and becoming involved is something that I’m okay with, and it gives me the opportunity to be around like-minded people as well as reinforcing my faith.
3 | How can your work/volunteer activities keep you involved with people?
My work and business are a necessary, and many times a helpful distraction. Since creating this post in 2018, I have transitioned my work from a face-to-face home staging and design business, to a totally online presence. It has been a huge transition in many ways, but has kept me busy and focused, as well as created ongoing income opportunities for me.
Whether you are still working, plan to work, or are retired, it is important to find a way to interact with others. If a relationship is high on the priority list and you’ve decided that you would be happier with a partner, look for safe and sensible ways to meet potential friends and establish healthy relationships.
4 | Do your menu and nutritional choices need some healthy alterations?
Maintaining a healthy diet and paying attention to my body is high on the list of priorities for me as a single woman over 60. It could be tempting to say, “who cares, I’m too old to try and stay slim and watch my figure”. I can’t do that…maybe I’m vain…but I want to look my best, even if it’s just for my own well being.
A commitment to healthy eating and regular exercise has not only kept me focused, it has helped me stay relatively fit and strong.
Cooking for 1 is different than preparing meals for 2 people, and I find myself looking for prepared food options because they’re quicker and simpler, and very tasty! But the extra fat and calories the food often contains can be lethal to the figure, so I try to limit those to once or twice a week. I’m working on eating simpler, cleaner, natural foods that help minimize belly fat (ugh!) and keep me feeling full.
Living alone in your 60s can help keep things simple, though, when it comes to meal planning. I only have to be concerned about myself and what foods or meals are good for me.
5 | Have you exercised yet this week?
Being active and exercising regularly is, and always has been, a stress reducer for me, as well as having a positive impact on my health. I try to do something every day…walk, ride, strength training…anything to get the blood flowing. As women over sixty our bodies have changed, and continue to change, as the days, months, and years go by.
We owe it to ourselves to stay as fit and strong as we can, within any health or physical limitations. In fact, when we exercise it actually releases endorphins that help us feel better, more confident
A steady, consistent workout routine that includes both aerobic and strength training will go a long way towards living a fulfilled, happy, healthy, satisfying life a women over 60.
6 | Have you talked with a family member this week?
My family is always a source of love and encouragement, and I appreciate that every single day. Life is too short to get bogged down in petty family conflicts. Since moving back to the Midwest a couple of years ago, my family is all within a close enough proximity that we can visit and see each other often.
When I lived 1200 miles away, the phone, or email, or video chats were the way I kept in touch. It really doesn’t matter what you do, just remember that your family is the only one you’ll have, and, you never know what a day is going to bring. Those relationships are priceless…..
Talk to them.
A friend to confide in is priceless as well, and I am so fortunate to have two very special friends who I can talk to about absolutely anything. They are always there for me, and I’m there for them.
Do you have a friend to confide in?
7 | How is your self confidence?
Growing older is challenging enough, and living life as a single woman over 60 just adds more to the challenge. Sometimes we lose our confidence, particularly if we were accustomed to having a partner, spouse, or man in our life.
The best advice I can give from personal experience is to get your body, mind, and spirit aligned, and move forward in life, one day at a time.
It’s easier said than done, I know. And I’ve created some simple, affordable ways to help you get there, my friend.
Fresh Start Challenge is a simple email series course that will help you take a fresh perspective on where you’re at in your life, what goals you might want to set, then help set you up for success in achieving them.
The foundation of this simple email course is to spend the time, honestly and privately, to revive your mind, nourish your body, and refresh your spirit. Over the 7 days of the course, you’ll read, watch, write, ponder and set a plan to regain the balance in any of these areas that may have fallen out of kilter.
If you want to focus on specific areas that need some gentle attention, I’ve created a series of short E-guides on topics like Wellness, Self Confidence, Fashion, Fitness, and more. Learn more about E-guides for women in midlife.
8 | What would you like to learn?
I have put some time into pondering what I like to do, now that I am living a single life. What do I want to learn? Where would I like to go? How do I want to spend my free time? One thing I’m doing is learning to speak Spanish. Very slowly, but I’m learning. If you want to know the Spanish interpretation of ‘the dog eats meat’…I’ve got you!
Another newer experience for me is this lifestyle blog, Inspire My Style. I never gave a thought to blogging, even though I’ve been involved with online marketing for almost 10 years. Find out more about blogging…maybe it’s the right time for you!
Advantages of Being a Single Woman Over 60
Although I wouldn’t call myself an ‘old dog’, I am kind of set in my ways, being a single woman over 60 and all. And there is a certain freedom in making day to day decisions that impact just me.
- I can get up when I want (usually before the birds), go to bed when I want, watch TV or not…and it’s always my choice of programs.
- My home is decorated to my taste.
- I spend my money the way I want.
- I don’t have to please anyone else in the house, just me.
- My house gets dirty when I mess it up…no one else…pretty simple
- My business (home staging) often mingles with my personal life, so I may have some stuff sitting in the house temporarily. There is no one to be bothered by it (although my husband never cared…he welcomed it!)
My philosophy is to enjoy each day whatever happens, know that the Lord is in control, and be grateful in all things. I am a single woman over 60 and looking forward to life’s adventures!
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12 thoughts on “On Being a Single Woman Over 60”
I’m so sorry for your loss Candi but what strength you have gained in being a single woman Over 60. It is great to see that although we have partners, we can also be individuals in our own right, and can draw on that when something unthinkable like the death of a spouse happens. Thanks for sharing your insights with us at #MLSTL. Have a great week!
Thank you Sue
I am glad you have shared your story and I am sure it will help others, Denyse. via the Midlife Share the Love Linky
Thanks Denyse, I hope that sharing my thoughts will be a help to someone experiencing a similar situation.
I have been married for 35+ years Candi and the thought of being on my own is hard to fathom. I like the idea of not compromising on anything and doing it all how you like, when you like. But on the other hand I think there would be lonliness and having to do everything as a single person that I’d find hard. Fortunately I’m not needing to deal with it yet, but your post was an interesting insight – not letting it defeat you is definitely the answer. Thanks for linking up with us at #MLSTL and I’ve shared this on my SM xx
You’re right, Leanne, there are always two ways to see a situation, and I try to see the positives as much as possible. Definitely a process. Thanks for your thoughts.
God bless you. You are doing so well. I still have my husband but he has cancer and I am praying for a miracle. I was single for 15 years between marriages and felt like God brought my perfect mate to me in my now husband. Even though my faith is strong I am not sure that if I lose my husband I will be as OK as you are at 2 years.
Victoria, take one day at a time right now, and the Lord will see you through this journey, wherever it leads. The only way I have been able to continue on and move forward (a tiny bit each day) is with His help.
Having work you love makes such a difference in our lives! I am glad that you have had this constant in your life as you transitioned to being single. Your joy for living a happy life shines through your post. I share this on Facebook.
Thank you so much, Linda!
Thank you for sharing your story. I can see how it would take time to adjust to the single life again but it sounds like you have plenty of support and things to keep you occupied.
Hi Sarah, yes, it does take time to adjust to being single again. But I have kept myself quite busy with work and family and that has helped a lot. Thanks for your comments!