This is the final post in a remarkable series, The Midlife ToolBox. And it has been truly remarkable! We’ve been inspired, uplifted, challenged and made to think about who we are, where we’re going and how a healthy mindset affects us as women in midlife.
We’ve learned about:
- Finding Acceptance and Happiness with Being Ourselves
- Five Keys to Healthy Aging
- Living Our Best Life and Triumphing Over Adversity
- Benefits of Practicing Mindfulness
- Healthy Lifestyle Habits and How They Shape Our Perspective
- Enjoying Life After 60
READ ALL OF THE MIDLIFE TOOLBOX POSTS HERE
Midlife is a wonderful time for us, but can definitely hold challenges as our bodies age, our family dynamic changes, and our ‘purpose in life’ takes on a whole new meaning.
For me, when I think about the tools in my midlife tool box, it comes down to three main characteristics of a healthy mindset that I strive to maintain in my life. I’m not a rigid person so it’s not like I live by a specific set of rules that I must obey or else I’ve failed. No, it’s not like that.
Rather, these are three mindsets and attitudes that I continually find helpful, inspirational, and spot-on as I travel through midlife. These are the three most important tools in my Midlife ToolBox.
A Healthy Mindset: 3 Areas of Focus
1 | Remain Focused…on the Goal
What is the goal? I think it is unique to each one of us, and it’s what keeps us going, what we look forward to, why we make the choices we make.
For me, I choose to remain focused on what life has in store for me. I think about my family, my grandchildren, all of those around me who I love so much.
I moved 1,200 miles across the country to be close to them, share life with them, make memories with them. My focus has not changed now that I’m living within a short drive of my family.
Sometimes we get caught up in the past, what didn’t happen for us, the money we lost, the career that didn’t pan out, the poor choices we made. If I chose to, I could spend all my time lamenting the mistakes I’ve made…I could probably write a book.
But that is not what I choose to focus on. My focus is on today, and on the future. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I’m not lookin’ back, my friend.
2 | Remain Firm…in my commitment
It may sound selfish when I say that my commitment is to myself, but the bottom line is, it’s true. When all is said and done, I have to take care of myself because no one else will do it for me.
I do not have a spouse, partner or significant other in my life at the moment. That’s a topic for another time, but my point is this. Even if I did, if my husband, the love of my life, was still with me, it would still ultimately be up to me to take care of my mind, body, and spirit.
So my commitment is to myself, to keep a healthy lifestyle at the top of my list, and remember to do these things regularly:
- a healthy morning routine to start the day right
- exercise regularly, including aerobic and strength training
- eat well, not to lose a bunch of weight and try to regain my youth, but to be at a healthy weight that is right for me
- get a good nights sleep as often as I can
- feed my mind with information that will help me learn and grow as a person
- maintain a work ethic that is balanced yet helps me move forward with my goals
Respecting yourself enough to provide the daily self-care needed to remain healthy is not selfish, it’s smart. And it allows us all to give our best to ourselves, our partners, our family, and others we love.
3 | Keep the Faith…in all things
I was raised in a loving, Christian home and have embraced my faith throughout my life. It is the foundation upon which my life is built, and I can’t imagine living any other kind of life.
For me, I know that the Lord is always walking by my side. Whatever is happening in my life, He knows all about it.
Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1
Faith can be a tough sell for some because it is an intangible. You don’t see it, but you know it’s there.
Here is a further definition and example that I found about faith, and it’s really helpful:
This definition of faith contains two aspects: intellectual assent and trust. Intellectual assent is believing something to be true. Trust is actually relying on the fact that the something is true.
A chair is often used to help illustrate this. Intellectual assent is recognizing that a chair is a chair and agreeing that it is designed to support a person who sits on it. Trust is actually sitting in the chair.
In my life, my faith and trust have helped me through some very difficult times in my life. I don’t pick and choose when to have faith in the Lord, it is there in every situation, good and bad.
For me, this is the third and probably most important tool that I have in my midlife tool box.
Do I maintain these three focus areas, this healthy mindset, 100% of the time? No. Do I fail? Yes. Do I forgive myself and continue on with this mindset? YES!
What Healthy Mindset Tools are in Your Toolbox?
It’s great to read what others have to say about life, about how they live and thrive. We can learn a lot from others’ experiences.
But the bottom line is, we are all unique. Our struggles and challenges may have commonalities but are ours alone to work through.
So, with that in mind, how about you? What is your interpretation of a healthy mindset?
What tools are in your midlife toolbox? Do you know what they are? How often do you pull them out and use them? Are they rusty and dusty from lack of use?
Maybe you need to replace some tools that are worn out, that don’t work well anymore. It might be time to say goodbye to some things in your life that aren’t helping you move forward.
How about trying some new tools? Keeping an open mind, remaining positive about change, adjusting the perspective…these are all helpful ways to see new “tools” that can be made a part of our lives.
To help you get started I’ve created a printable worksheet for you:
You can access this worksheet for free – it’s part of my Resource Library. Get the password here:
We’re never too old to learn, to grow, to create a healthy mindset. Use the tools in your Midlife ToolBox to be the best person possible, because you’re worth it!
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Very thought provoking. We change as we age and sometimes our goals set decades earlier are not relevant any longer! I find myself questioning these goals and re-evaluating their importance or significance.
Yes, our priorities and goals can certainly change and adjust as we age, which is probably a good thing! Thanks so much for stopping by for a read.
I’ve always had to work on letting things go and actually, with age, I’m finding this easier to do.
Hi Karen, for me it also came with age and maturity, after learning that hanging onto the past didn’t help anything, just made me frustrated. I think with age comes a clearer focus. Thanks for stopping by!
I loved your three F’s Candi, and I think I’m practicing them all atm. I’m trying not to be too locked into anything atm – I’m still enjoying the flexibility of not working! But at the same time, approaching life with intention and trust in God is such a great way to make sure you’re heading in the right direction.
Thanks for linking up with us at MLSTL and I’ve shared on my SM 🙂
Thank you, Leanne! I always appreciate your thoughts and support and am so glad you’re enjoying where life has taken you.
This post had me thinking Candi. I love the three ads and your worksheet. #MLSTL Will share
Hi Jennifer, thanks so much for sharing!
So true Candi. We all need to learn to take care of ourselves first. That is the one person we are primarily responsible for and the only person’s life we are in charge of–especially in midlife once the children are grown. I love that you followed the fact that you moved across the country to be with your loved ones and focus on them with the need to care for yourself. It’s that combination that makes life truly wonderful. And of course faith–whether that faith is in God, the Universe, or some other driving force. Thank you for this midlife tool box series. I have shared your post on social media.
Hi Christie, thanks so much for your support, for providing a guest post for the series, and for sharing. Very much appreciated!
Hi Candi. My focus has got to be letting go of the past and to stop beating myself up for past mistakes. I must also learn to let go of the people who want to remind me of past mistakes and to just keep company with people who value me as a person. Thank you for sharing. Your posts are always so helpful to me.
Hi Christina, yes…let go of the memories (and the people) that keep you rooted in the past and feeling bad for things that are gone and done. It will be a burden lifted from your shoulders. Thanks for much for taking the time to share. xo