Just because we reach our 50s, 60s, and beyond does not automatically mean we’ve “arrived” as far as the self confidence department is concerned. Becoming confident in midlife is not age related; it is acquired when we can see ourselves in a realistic, loving and intentional way. Such are my thoughts as I drink my coffee and reflect this morning.
Some of us are born (or so it seems) with that confidence, but for most of us it is an acquired trait that takes shape when we’re young and develops as we grow into adulthood.
I would love to show my 20 year old self a thing or two now! My decision making skills and perspective on life would have been so much better and so would have some of the results. But, at that time in my life I lacked the confidence, the self awareness, to even know how to go about making decisions like I do today.
It would be nice to have the smooth, firm skin and energy of my younger self, but I would never, ever want to give up what I know today, and what I went through to acquire that knowledge.
Even my personal style choices have been shaped by my past experiences as well as acceptance of who I am today. I like that.
5 ways to Become More Confident in Midlife
1 | ACCEPTANCE
…of where you are today, but realizing that you are not finished yet. The wonderful gift called life enables us to keep learning and growing, as long as we have breath in our lungs.
As women over 60, we may have many years ahead of us, for some, quite a few years! So in our minds we need to embrace that, and instead of focusing on how old we are, or what we can’t do, train our minds to look for ways to grow, learn, advance and thrive.
The most alluring thing a woman can have is confidence
Beyonce
2 | UNDERSTANDING
…that while your past has played a part in molding who you are now, it does not define you. Sometimes we can get caught up in our past…the negative experiences, the difficult times, the unfairness of life…and yes, we experienced those times. Can’t take them back.
And, we learn from those past experiences positive and otherwise. Those mistakes, heartaches, achievements, and milestones, are what have molded us into who we are today. So yes, we respect the past.
But we don’t have to stop there. We do not have to be what our past was. We can achieve anything we put our minds to, and as women in midlife we are strong and wise.
Self confidence is the most attractive quality a person can have. How can anyone see how great you are if you can’t see it yourself
unknown
3 | MOTIVATION
…to do whatever it takes to become the healthiest version of you because when you feel great, you are more confident. And that can be easier said than done, my friends.
Think about your workout routine, or your morning routine. Oh, you don’t have either of those with consistency?
Sometimes we get so caught up in life…taking care of the aging parents, helping our adult children, watching the grand kids…all of these are essential and for most of us, we look at these times as a privilege.
But we can get lost in there sometimes. A fresh dose of motivation as women in midlife, to be the best we can be, will do wonders to increase our confidence!
Work out because you love your body, not because you hate it
Katie Goulet
4 | AWARENESS
…of our feelings and emotions seems like such a simple thing, but it can be all too easy to stuff our true feelings and put on that happy/strong/stoic/patient/other-type-of face. Sometimes we don’t even know that we’re presenting a bit of a facade, it’s become so real to us.
When we are not honest with ourselves about how we feel, it undermines our confidence at a minimum, and can literally make us sick at it’s worst.
Taking a good, hard look at our own feelings, acknowledging them and moving forward will help us be more confident in midlife because we know where we stand emotionally.
It’s time to start treating myself as good as I’ve been treating others
amazingmovement.com
New Year’s inspiration, new phase in life, or a need to be inspired and motivated to move forward in your life as a woman over 50, Midlife Inspirations will help you take that step! Learn More
5| ANTICIPATION
…and excitement for the ‘you’ that is still evolving can give us an attitude of optimism, confidence and even affect our health.
If we wake up each morning with a spirit of gratitude, anticipation and excitement (yes, even excitement) for the day awaiting us, it will show on our face, in our attitude and ultimately, our confidence.
Confidence is the ability to feel beautiful, without needing someone to tell you
Mandy Hale
That’s what I love about this life: we never stop learning, growing, developing, and evolving, into more complete versions of ourselves.
It’s always going to be me. But a better me. Even when I’m 90.
What do you think about the topic of how to be confident in midlife?
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I so agree with everything you wrote. Especially the motivation. Too many women give up because they don’t look how they once did. and then it’s a slippery slope.
I know, Lauren…it’s hard to keep looking forward, not back. Once you do that it is indeed a ‘slippery slope’. Thanks so much for stopping by!
I am 77 years old and still belong to women of midlife. In fact, I am circling back around and becoming a midlife grandmother. 🙂 Self-confidence does come from within but I think that what is on the outside counts too.
I told my husband when we retired 20 years ago, that we were not going to die wearing the same clothes we retired in. It doesn’t take much to maintain our appearance but it is worth it.
Continue to learn too. Our mind is the single most important part of our body…work it out too.
Thank you for the thought provoking post.
b*
http://retireinstyleblog.com
You are so right, Barbara! Taking care of our appearance as we age (or at any age, really) is also a reflection of how we feel about ourselves. Congratulations on being a grandmother again!
I really enjoyed this post today. I was one that had no confidence in my younger years. Now at 58 years old I am much more confident in myself. So true about taking care of elderly parents and watching my 7 grandchildren under the age of 6. Babysitting my 15 month old twin granddaughters today and running out of energy. Thank you for this post.
Hi Julie, you are one busy lady! It can be hard to provide love and care at each end of the spectrum. Hopefully you can also find the time to care care of ‘you’. Thanks so much for stopping in for a read. 🙂
Hi Candi I’m only now at almost 62 able to be honest with myself and say that yes I do have self confidence. I have lacked that all my life and it’s never too late. Blogging has really helped my confidence grow as I’ve proven to myself I can be of value to others and this is proven by the positive comments I receive. A very helpful post in reminding us of ways we can help our confidence grow. Have a great weekend! xx
Thanks Sue, as always, for your positive comments. Honesty with ourselves is not always easy and certainly not automatic, but I think that is the starting point for growth, and the real ‘us’ will bloom from there. Enjoy your weekend, too xo
I love this post!!! If only we were able to enjoy this wisdom when we were 20-something. (If only my 20-something daughter would take my advice..haha). But, such is life I suppose. I recently heard that having this wisdom as we get older gives us the clarity needed to give back to the world. I totally believe that. This is our purpose!
I love that insight, Lisa! Thanks so much for passing it on. 🙂
I am 67 now and I was thinking how much attitudes to aging have changed in the last thirty years. I can’t imagine my mother or grandmother going to the gym or doing strength training. Neither of them ever wore trousers never mind fitness gear. I think we are rightly less accepting of the limitations of old age. It is far better to pack for the road ahead.
Absolutely, Anne, I agree that we see things so differently than previous generations. Thanks so much for stopping by!
This post is so timely for me. I appreciate your perspective and insight on aging gracefully. I think that we all need a gentle reminder from time to time not to allow our past determine our future or define who we are. Thanks for your words of wisdom!
Thank you for stopping in, Jill. It can be difficult to refrain from looking back on our past, but it’s the only way to thrive and move forward!
My confidence is so much better than at any other time of my life and that is wonderful.
That’s great, Candy! Thanks so much for stopping by.
Thanks for the fabulous inspiration! Love your writing. Today I feel beautiful.
I’m so glad you found the post inspiring, Nana!
All good and inspiring points you make here! Shared ♥
Thanks Dee, I appreciate you stopping by and sharing the post. 🙂
I think facing our own mortality, as we watch our parents, siblings and friends die, increases confidence. We become less focused on proving ourselves or impressing others and instead concentrate on enjoying who we are, what we have, and leaving something of value with whatever time we have left.
Thank you, Aletha, for your insightful comments. Much appreciated.
This post was great. I’m not yet 50 but am rounding the corner quickly. I am definitely saving this for later because I love your perspective.
Thanks for stopping by, Angie, I hope these thoughts come in handy when you reach that ‘magic’ age! 🙂
Can’t agree more with everything you wrote! Wouldn’t I like to tell my 20 something self a few things? You bet I would! I am enjoying this stage of my life as much as any other when I was younger, and I think confidence has a lot to do with it. Thanks for your thoughts. Sharing
Hi Sylvia, thanks so much for stopping by. Midlife is a wonderful stage of life when we have a positive attitude, and I agree that confidence plays an important role. Thanks for sharing!